Always Right

"Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.”

― Peter T. McIntyre

April 2, 2023

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Lisa Ulshafer

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Do you find yourself always needing to be right? Do you feel a sense of validation when others agree with you, and get defensive when they don't? The need to always be right is a common human trait that stems from our innate desire for validation and a sense of superiority. It is a personality trait characterized by an unwavering belief that one's opinions, ideas, and perspectives are always correct, regardless of evidence or feedback from others.

People who exhibit this behavior often feel a strong urge to prove themselves right in every situation, leading to stubbornness, defensiveness, and a tendency to dismiss or invalidate differing opinions. The need to always be right can negatively impact relationships, communication, and decision-making, as it can hinder open-mindedness, collaboration, and learning from mistakes.

Here are some common signs that you may always have to be right:

• Arguing: You may argue with others about even the smallest details, needing to prove that you are right.
  
  
• Interrupting: You may interrupt others when they are speaking to correct them or provide your own perspective.
  
  
• Dismissing other opinions: You may dismiss other people's opinions or ideas that contradict your own, believing that your way is the only right way.
  
  
• Getting defensive: You may become defensive or feel attacked when someone disagrees with you or challenges your perspective.
  
  
• Blaming others: You may blame others for mistakes or misunderstandings, rather than taking responsibility for your own actions.
  
  
• Needing the last word: You may feel the need to have the last word in an argument or conversation, to assert your dominance or prove your point.
  
  
• Exaggerating your achievements: You may exaggerate your own achievements or skills, to make yourself look better or prove that you are right.
  
  
• Refusing to apologize: You may refuse to apologize or admit fault, even when it is clear that you have made a mistake.

Here are 7 strategies for overcoming the need to always be right:

1. Practice active listening. Active listening is an important skill that involves paying attention to what others are saying and seeking to understand their point of view. Rather than interrupting or dismissing someone else's perspective, try to listen and ask questions to gain a better understanding of their position.
   
   
2. Recognize the value of differing opinions. Everyone has a unique perspective based on their experiences and beliefs. Recognizing that someone else's opinion can be just as valid as your own can help you become more accepting of differing viewpoints.
   
   
3. Embrace the learning process. Acknowledge that you do not know everything and that it is okay to learn from others. This mindset can help you approach discussions with a sense of curiosity and openness rather than defensiveness.
   
   
4. Seek feedback. Ask others for feedback on your behavior and actively listen to their responses. This can help you identify areas where you may be overly focused on being right and can provide an opportunity to change the behavior.
   
   
5. Practice empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Try to put yourself in someone else's shoes and consider their perspective. This can help you develop a deeper understanding of their point of view and reduce the need to always be right.
   
   
6. Take a pause. Take a pause and consider your own biases and assumptions before jumping to conclusions or defending your position.
   
   
7. Understand wrong isn't weakness. Embrace the idea that being wrong or making mistakes is not a weakness, but an opportunity for growth and improvement.

By letting go of the need to always be right, you open yourself up to new ideas, experiences, and relationships. Without the pressure to always be right, you can foster a more inclusive and collaborative environment where diverse ideas are valued and respected. It can also reduce stress and defensiveness, leading to healthier communication and conflict resolution. Embracing humility, learning from mistakes, and being open to new ideas can lead to personal development, enriched relationships, and a more fulfilling and meaningful life journey. So, practice empathy, understanding, and humility, and see where it takes you. It's not about being right all the time, but rather about learning and growing from the perspectives of others.