Self-Righteous

"There is always the fear of self-righteousness possessing us,
the fear of arrogating to ourselves a superiority that we do not possess."

― Mahatma Gandhi

April 1, 2023

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Lisa Ulshafer

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Being self-righteous can be a difficult trait to overcome. It can be easy to get caught up in our own opinions and feel like we're always right. But being self-righteous can drive people away and make it difficult to form connections with others. 

Being self-righteous is a mindset that is characterized by a strong belief in one's own moral superiority or correctness. It often involves a sense of entitlement, judgmental attitudes towards others, and a lack of openness to differing perspectives. People who are self-righteous may hold rigid beliefs about what is right and wrong, and may feel a need to impose their views on others. This mindset can have negative effects on relationships, communication, and overall well-being, as it can create division, conflict, and a lack of empathy towards others. 

Here are some common signs that you may be self-righteous:

• Strong belief in your own moral superiority or correctness.
  
  
• Judgmental attitudes towards those who hold different beliefs or opinions.
  
  
• Difficulty in accepting or considering viewpoints that differ from your own.
  
  
• A tendency to impose your beliefs or values on others.
  
  
• Feeling superior or condescending towards those who do not align with your beliefs.
  
  
• Being unwilling to listen or engage in open-minded discussions with those who have differing perspectives.
  
  
• Having a sense of entitlement and feeling that your opinions or beliefs are unquestionably correct.
  
  
• Engaging in moral grandstanding or virtue signaling to showcase your righteousness.
  
  
• Reacting defensively or angrily when challenged or confronted about your beliefs or behavior.
  
  
• Strained or damaged relationships due to an inability to empathize or respect differing viewpoints.

Here are 11 strategies to help you overcome being self-righteous:

1. Recognize the behavior. The first step to overcoming self-righteousness is recognizing the behavior in yourself. This may be difficult, as self-righteousness can be deeply ingrained, but being aware of the behavior is essential.
   
   
2. Develop empathy and open-mindedness: Try to understand and appreciate different perspectives, even if you don't agree with them. Listen actively without interrupting or dismissing others' viewpoints.
   
   
3. Question your assumptions. When you find yourself making assumptions or judgments about others, take a step back and question your thought process. Ask yourself why you feel this way and what evidence you have to support your beliefs.
   
   
4. Listen to others. When you're in a conversation, hear their opinions without immediately dismissing them or offering a rebuttal. By doing this, you can start to understand other perspectives and see the value in different viewpoints.
   
   
5. Practice humility and self-awareness: Recognize that nobody has all the answers and that your beliefs or opinions are not inherently superior to others. Be willing to examine your own biases, assumptions, and limitations. Acknowledge that everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and that you are not infallible. 
   
   
6. Engage in respectful dialogue: Instead of imposing your beliefs on others, engage in constructive conversations where you exchange ideas and opinions in a respectful and non-judgmental manner.
   
   
7. Reflect on your motives: Consider why you feel the need to be self-righteous. Are you seeking validation, control, or superiority? Reflecting on your underlying motives can help you gain insight and perspective.
   
   
8. Practice self-reflection and self-correction: Regularly reflect on your own thoughts, words, and actions to identify any self-righteous tendencies. Be willing to acknowledge and correct them when they arise.
   
   
9. Let go of the need for validation: Seek validation from within, rather than relying on external sources to affirm your beliefs or opinions. Learn to be comfortable with differing viewpoints without feeling threatened or defensive.
   
   
10. Cultivate self-compassion: Be kind and compassionate towards yourself, just as you would towards others. Acknowledge that you are human and make mistakes, and that it is okay to learn and grow from them.
    
    
11. Seek feedback from trusted sources: Seek feedback from trusted friends, family, or mentors who can provide you with honest and constructive feedback about your self-righteous tendencies. Be open to receiving feedback and using it as an opportunity for growth.

Letting go of self-righteousness allows for open-mindedness, empathy, and understanding towards others, fostering meaningful relationships and connections. Without the need to impose beliefs or opinions on others, you can engage in respectful and constructive conversations, fostering a more inclusive and diverse environment. Letting go of self-righteousness also frees you from the burden of constantly seeking validation or superiority, leading to increased self-acceptance and self-compassion. It allows for greater self-awareness and personal growth, as you embrace humility, tolerance, and acceptance of differing viewpoints. Overall, a life without self-righteousness can lead to greater empathy, compassion, and harmony in relationships, and a deeper sense of inner peace and contentment.