Assertive

“The basic difference between being assertive and being aggressive
is how our words and behavior affect the rights and well being of others.”

― Sharon Anthony

April 3, 2023

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Lisa Ulshafer

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Assertiveness is a personality trait that enables individuals to express their opinions, feelings, and needs confidently and directly without violating the rights of others. It involves standing up for oneself and being able to communicate in a clear, concise, and respectful manner. Assertive individuals understand their value and worth, and they have the courage to advocate for themselves and others. They have a positive outlook on life, are proactive, and take responsibility for their actions. Developing assertiveness skills is an essential step towards enhancing one's personal and professional growth.

Here are just some of the benefits you experience when you are assertive:

• Improved communication: Assertiveness helps to improve communication skills by enabling you to express your opinions and feelings in a clear and direct manner, without being aggressive or passive.

• Increased self-confidence: You become more self-assured and confident in your abilities, as you learn to stand up for yourself and your beliefs.

• Enhanced decision-making skills: Assertiveness empowers you to make decisions that align with your values and goals, rather than simply going along with what others want.

• Better relationships: You build better and more fulfilling relationships, as you are able to express your needs and wants, listen to others, and negotiate compromises.

• Reduced stress and anxiety: You have reduced feelings of stress and anxiety, as you are able to effectively manage conflicts and handle difficult situations.

• Improved work performance: Assertiveness can lead to improved performance at work, as you are able to communicate more effectively with colleagues and managers, negotiate salaries and benefits, and take on new responsibilities.

Here are 7 strategies to become more assertive:

1. Use "I" statements: When communicating your needs and boundaries, use "I" statements instead of "you" statements. For example, instead of saying "You're not listening to me," say "I feel like you're not hearing me."

2. Practice saying no: Saying no can be difficult, especially if you're used to saying yes all the time. Practice saying no in small situations, like declining a social invitation, to build up your confidence.

3. Stand up straight: Your body language can convey assertiveness. Stand up straight, make eye contact, and use confident gestures.

4. Use a confident tone of voice: Speak in a clear, confident tone of voice to convey your message. Avoid using a tone that sounds apologetic or unsure.

5. Don't apologize unnecessarily: Don't apologize for stating your needs or opinions. Apologizing unnecessarily can make you seem less confident.

6. Set boundaries: Identify your boundaries and communicate them clearly to others. Don't let others push you past your limits.

7. Take action: When faced with a situation where you need to be assertive, take action and speak up. Don't wait for someone else to do it for you.

Becoming more assertive involves developing the confidence and skills to communicate your needs, opinions, and boundaries effectively. It requires a willingness to speak up for yourself and take action when necessary, while also respecting the rights and feelings of others. By learning to assert yourself in a constructive and respectful way, you can build stronger relationships, gain more control over your life, and reduce stress and conflict. While it can take time and practice to develop assertiveness, the benefits are well worth the effort.